Is Valentine's Day Dead?

So much pressure on men to deliver on Valentine's day, and so much expectations from women.

As a child I wondered why I was giving little valentines to everyone in my kindergarten class, especially to the boys. Did I love them? Most of the boys I didn't even play with.

When I was a teen I dreaded the day since I didn't have a boyfriend at the time, and it wasn't easy to get one either when attending an all girl catholic school. A well intended chocolate heart from my mother is all I got those early teen days. College wasn't any easier, I often felt sad if not jealous seeing other girls in fake, dead-end relationships receiving valentine gifts. ( now why would I be jealous of that? ) It only amplified what was missing in my life.

Yes I dated, in my early twenty's but with my luck it never seemed to coincide with Valentine's season of flower giving. But I did receive my first dozen roses eventually and it felt out of this world, I felt I joined the club that had rejected me for so long. While the boyfriend didn't last, the feeling is still with me.

The Holiday itself became meaningless to me when I met my husband. I got more of an emotional surge when gifts, flowers or my favorite chocolate was offered to me for absolutely no occasion. That said, it doesn't mean as husband and wife we don't use the Holiday to create a special time between us. It's become like a call to action for us busy working couple and parents. This weekend it was an excuse to find a babysitter, put on an outfit I had bought months ago, wait over 20 minutes in a crowded restaurant, finally be seated to be told they were out of the one dish I had my heart set on. Did I mention how loud the noise was? I had to shout to be heard, so much for loving declarations on this Valentine's week-end. An exhausted "happy valentine dear" is all I could muster up.

While driving home I wondered if during Valentine's day, more roses are purchased by boyfriends or husbands. I believe boyfriends act on expectation and husbands if they go out of their way to get any kind of gift on this day, truly come from the heart. Then I wondered if girlfriends were more demanding than wives. I can only speak for myself, and I have become less demanding of these commercial holidays and find a greater appreciation when the act of giving comes out of the blue, and unexpectedly.



Diana said...

My husband and I do a little something to surprise each other every valentines day. Thank God, because we've been married now for over 3 years and have missed (or rather forgotten) our wedding anniversary every year.
We need a reminder to celebrate our wedding anniversary, just like any other holiday.....

Anonymous said...

Your reminder should be your husband! ;)